Out of the Blue
by simply woven
Summary: Kerry, who's involved with Courtney, recieves a call from Kim Legaspi, who wants to know what has happened in the past five years...Takes place in mid-season 13.
1. The Call: I

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, just borrowing :)

Spoilers: 7-13

Takes place mid-season 13, before Kerry's departure. Kerry recieves a phone call from someone she excpected to never talk with again: Kim Legaspi.

* * *

Henry, after an endless bout of insisting to Kerry that he wasn't tired, was asleep in his bed. As always, she took those few minutes after Henry's tucking in and Courtney's arrival to herself; to relax. It wasn't that she resented Courtney's untimely arrivals- she knew it was all part of the job- but the peacefulness and quiet that those short sixty or so minutes held was unmistakably welcomed. Nearly tip toeing as to not wake up Henry- he had an unlucky habit of reawakening after just being put to bed- Kerry went into the kitchen and sorted through that day's mail: bills, bills, junk, JAMA, bills and junk. Setting the piles off to the side on the counter, she grabbed her new Journal and headed to the couch. After settling, she flipped to the table of contents, interested to see what that week's issue had in store. Finally settling on an article that she hoped might hold her attention, Kerry began to read. Not five minutes had past when the phone rang. Sighing, she picked it up, hoping it was neither work telling her they needed her back for some mass casuality nor Courtney telling her she wasn't able to come by that night.

"Hello?" No response. She gave it another moment, before asking again, "Um…hello?"

"Kerry?" The voice- that of a woman- was coy yet strong; on the line of separation between plain old charming and seducing.

"Um, yes…may I ask who's speaking?" Kerry really hadn't the slightest idea who was on the other line.

"It's…Kim. Kim Legaspi." It was Kerry's turn to be unable to produce words. After giving her a few moments to respond, Kim piped up again, "Kerry…are you there?"

"Um, yeah, Kim. Hi…" Kerry managed to push those words out, hoping Kim wouldn't ask for anything more than simple, few-in-syllables answers while she let just who was on the other line sink in.

"Hi, Kerry…how are you?" The voice was growing stronger, comfortable and more confident- the exact opposite of how Kerry was feeling on the inside: shocked, weary, flirting with nauseated and on the borderline of pissed off.

"I'm…wow, Kim. I don't really know how to answer that. How am I since the last time we talked, five years ago? I'm different, Kim." Her tone was agitated, that she knew, but Kerry wasn't aware of  
just how snippy she had sounded. Kim, on the other hand, had heard the tone quite clearly and it had registered with ease.

"Is this a bad time, Kerry? I'm sorry if I've…bothered you…" Kim said coolly, apologetically, sending a pang of guilt through Kerry. Shaking her head as if to say 'no'- though she was aware Kim couldn't exactly see that- she apologized.

"No, Kim, I'm sorry…it's just…been a while. You surprised me." She placed emphasis on the 'I'm' in hopes to convey that she meant it-which she did-with full sincerity.

"It's alright…I know, Kerry, it has been a while…I just figured I'd give you a call…I don't exactly know why…maybe it's because I'm back in Chicago, I'm not sure…I just thought we might be able to…catch up, though now I know a phone call isn't quite an adequate way of going over the past five years…" Kerry could almost hear the slight smirk Kim was almost definitely wearing through her speech.

Before responding, Kerry thought for a moment; she wasn't sure whether she wanted to give in to Kim's inquiry or stand her ground, be pissed off.

"Well…I agree that it's not ideal, but it's a start…" She decided on the first option, figuring it'd been long enough."Okay…" Kerry could definitely sense the pleased smile spreading across Kim's face,

"what have you been up to since 2001? I know that might entail a lengthy, novelistic answer, but I've got time."

Kerry smiled as well, and then began giving her the four-one-one on what had happened at County since her departure.

"Well…I'm not sure if you'd heard or not, but about a year after you left, Mark Greene died..." Kerry said soberly. Kim's response came in a soft, stunned voice,

"Oh my God…what about Dr. Corday? How is she?" Kerry sighed, audibly.

"She was heartbroken, of course, but she managed to get over it for the most part…she started seeing other men and all. But about two years ago, she left. I'll save you the details, but we'll just say her other choice was to lose her liscence."

"Oh my…So it wasn't on friendly terms, I suppose. How did Romano take that? He'd always had the hots for her…" Kim's statement, paired with a lighthearted laugh, shocked Kerry. She'd subconsciously figured she'd heard about him…

"Kim…you didn't hear? Robert…well, a few months after Mark died, he was on the roof and lost his arm to a helicopter…then about a year and half later, he…well, one crashed on him in the bay. He was killed." Though she hadn't particularly liked Romano, the story was one she hated to tell.

"You've got to be kidding…that's…horrible;" She sounded slightly dazed- not at all upset, but she obviously felt bad, "Wait, so who took over as chief of staff? Did Anspaugh come back?" Kerry smiled, secretly happy to be having the chance to proclaim her success…though she wasn't exactly thrilled about having to tell about her demotion.

"Not quite…after he lost his arm, Anspaugh demoted him and gave his position to me…"

"Kerry! That's fantastic! So, you're chief of staff? That's…fitting." Kim exclaimed, evidently happy for her old acquaintance. Kerry smiled wearily, though a wave of bitterness washed over her.

"Yeah…not anymore, actually…I was, um, demoted…earlier this year…so I'm back in the ER…as an attending."

"Oh…well, um, you probably don't want to talk about that, huh?" Kim asked, reading Kerry's mind.

"Not particularly…" Kerry said lightly, "anyway, Carter's working in Africa with Doctor's Without Boarders. Peter and Cleo work outside of Chicago, now. Luka and Abby have a little boy, Joe…" Kerry silently wracked her brain for updates on the others who worked at County in the Era of Legaspi. "Oh, Abby went back to med school…you can call her Dr. Lockhart now." Kerry added, with a quiet laugh.

"That's great…she always seemed to be an overqualified, overeducated nurse." Kim answered, sincerely enthusiastic. "But Kerry, I want to hear about you. I'm sure a lot's happened in five years in your life, as well…" Kerry sighed. She figured Kim wasn't asking out of civility; most people whom you haven't talked to in five years don't call and ask for a briefing on your recent history unless they really want to hear it.

"Okay...but i'm warning you know, this may take a while…"

"Like I said, I've got time…" Kerry could hear that telltale smile again.

Taking a deep breath, Kerry began.

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A bit of a cliff-hanger, for you :) Chapter 2 soon!


	2. The Call: II

Kerry went on to explain her coming out to Romano in a rather abrupt manner, her fear that she'd be outed at work, and then the subject turned to Sandy.

"...she was a firefighter…an amazing woman, though I don't think I realized it in the beginning. She got fed up with my still not being out and took matters into her own hands in front of the whole ER; said she did me a favor. At the time, I thought she was wrong and we...broke up for a while…" Kerry still regretted her fear to that day, "until she was in a school fire. The whole day, kids and teachers andfirefighters were coming in and out…I heard bits and pieces of information, among them was that Sandy was still missing. Finally, after my shift, I found her- at a gay bar, nonetheless. I had been so scared that she'd been…" she paused, letting Kim finish the thought, "anyway, I acknowledged the fact that she was right to out me...she had done me a favor. Well, we moved intogether soon after...then about a year an half later, we decided to try for a baby..." Kerry had decided early on to spare Kim of the story of her first pregnancy, "I had to pull Sandy's arm, but she finally agreed and gave birth to our son...Henry. He's almost three and the absolute light of my life." Kerry was silent for a while, letting the first half of her short novel sink in.

"Wow..." Kim was astounded, "so, you're a mom and a wife? To tell you the truth, Kerry, I wasn't sure you'd ever come out...I'm glad to hear you've found so much happiness." Again, Kerry sighed loudly. She knew there was no way of beating around the bush, but really wasn't looking forward to telling Kim her tale of dispair.

"Um...well, I was..." Kerry shut her eyes and drew in another deep-though shaky-breath, "Sandy...she, um...she died...about three months after Henry was born...in a fire." Deafening silence obstructed the phone line. Kerry had been anticipating 'I'm so sorry' or 'Well, how are you doing now?'- the normal responses, especially from a physciatrist- but only recieved uncomforting silence. Finally, Kim spoke, very softly.

"God...Kerry...that's...I'm so- wow. I'm sorry..." That was the response Kerry had been waiting for; the response she was accustomed to replying to.

"Thanks, Kim. I think I'm getting over it...slowly, but I'm getting there." The response was second nature at that point.

"So...it's just you and Henry now?" Kerry hadn't seen that coming. Why exactly she hadn't figured Kim would ask, she wasn't sure. But she definitely hadn't thought she'd be prompted to talk about Courtney. She pondered whether or not to equivocate.

"For the most part...Sandy's parents are pretty involved in his life, by nature.." she paused, long enough for Kim to 'mhm' in understanding, "but as far as my...relationships...I'm actually seeing a colleague of mine...Courtney." It took more willpower than Kerry'd thought to actually push those words out. She was in no way ashamed of seeing Courtney, but it sounded a bit...peculiar, after having just told Kim that her wife had died a little less than three years earlier.

"That's great, Kerry...you said a colleague? A doctor from County?" Kerry hadn't figured to tell Kim about her side job until it arose in their conversation.

"No...she's actually my producer....it's kind of a side job, I guess. I just do little medical pieces for the news."

"Really? Dr. Weaver's a tv star?" Kim teased.

"I don't see it that way, but Henry thinks it's the greatest thing." Kerry smiled, picturing her sons wide, excited smile whenever he'd catch a glimpse of her on the tv.

"I bet he does. How is that going? Being a single mom?"

"It's going well. Sandy's mom watches him while I'm at work, and he absolutely adores Courtney...and I actually bit the bullet and had my hip replaced about ten months ago. Since then it's been a  
hell of a lot easier chasing him around."

"That's good, Kerry. It's awesome that you got it done, you know? I'm sure getting around the ER's a hell of a lot easier, as well." Kerry's cheeks warmed at that- something that seemed to happen only when her lack of grace when handling a trauma was brought up. Her old lack of grace, that is.

"Sure is." Kerry said while it hit her that she had heard absolutely nothing about Kim's present situation, "Anyway, enough about me. How are you? Where are you working?" Kerry genuinly wanted to know what Kim was up to, though after checking the clock, she wasn't exactly sure how much longer she'd be able to stay on the phone. Still, she figured she'd let her begin before having to hang up.

"Well...I went to San Francisco after I left..."

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I tried to cut back on the storylines that would be redundant from the show, but it still might be a bit repetitive so I figured I'd add how Kerry felt about things instead of just what had happened. Kim will do most of the talking next chapter :)


	3. The Call: III

Chapter 3, :)

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Kerry listened intently was Kim went on to explain how she'd stayed at University of San Francisco Medical Center for nearly five years after her departure from County then moved back to Chicago where she went to work at Northwestern, which was where she was to date.

"So, what made you decide to move back to Chicago?" Kerry asked, "And please, don't tell me it was the weather…" she added with a light laugh.

Kim smiled; _I guess she still hates Chicago winters… _Laughing, she replied,

"No, it wasn't the weather at all…I'm not sure what drove me back to Illinois…San Francisco was wonderful, but I guess I just missed this place…" Kim said, before adding on in a softer tone, "I guess I missed you, as well, Kerry…" That struck a sore spot on Kerry's heart; a sore spot that had been designated for Kim and Kim only. She too, had missed Kim, but only briefly: those few months after Kim had left when she became the last person anyone had wanted to be around; those few months during which she felt abandoned, lost and flat out miserable. Following the sharp strike at her heart, Kerry felt a pang of compassion; she'd once loved Kim dearly, and, maybe, she missed her too. Clearing her head, Kerry configured her reply,

"I'm glad you're back in Chicago…and I missed you too…but I'm…I don't know, Kim…" Kerry's words sent a stream of disappointment through Kim's body. She obviously had been neither vane nor naïve enough to believe she'd find Kerry waiting for her, but she'd hope Kerry would be at least a bit perceptive to the idea of them…Kim wasn't exactly sure what she'd been hoping, but Kerry's reaction sure wasn't satisfying.

"Kerry, I want to meet up with you. I think there's a lot more to catch up on…" Kim kept her tone hopeful, eager to persuade. Kerry, however, was not as eager to be persuaded.

"Kim, I don't know if that's such a great idea…" _You abandoned me, Kim, granted I wasn't always there for you, especially when you needed me, but I was going through one of the toughest times of my life, and…_Kerry was deep in reflection, thinking of all the things she so badly wished she could get out, when the lock of the front door turned; Courtney.

"I know, Kerry…but can't you just forget about all of that? Can't we start fresh?"

"Actually, Kim…I've got to go; Courtney's just walking in…" _Sweet Escape, _Kerry thought, mouthing a silent hello with a slight wave as Courtney walked towards the couch.

"Okay, Kerry…" _Bullshit, you've just had enough of this, "_I'll give you call sometime…" As she finished, Kim heard a muffled kiss being planted on someone's hair…_Okay, I guess you do have to go…_

"Goodnight, Kim."

"Bye, Kerry, talk to you soon…" Kerry barely waited Kim's response before hanging up the phone. Turning her attention to Courtney, who was getting comfortable on the couch, Kerry asked her how her day had gone.

"It was…long; very, very long. But who, may I ask, is Kim?" Courtney wasn't digging or prying, and her tone certainly wasn't one of jealousy; she just wanted to know.

Kerry sighed, and went on to tell her girlfriend the story of Kimberly Legaspi, M.D.

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Suggestions for the next chapter, please; I want to have Kerry meet up with-though not without reluctance- Kim, but I just don't know how I want to go about it. PM or Review if you have any ideas, please! :)


	4. The Second Call

The few days after they'd talked for the first time in five years, Kerry and Kim still hadn't communicated; by choice on Kerry's part, by self-restraint on Kim's.

It wasn't that Kerry didn't want to talk to Kim- they had a deep past and it was a shame that they hadn't talked until then, but if it hadn't been for Kim's leaving her, she would have never found Sandy or had Henry…she wouldn't be who she was to date- she just didn't want to mess with fate. Courtney had even encouraged her to call her ex back, saying it was 'a good opportunity to rebuild their friendship' but Kerry figured it was just her way of showing her support. No matter, at that particular moment, Kerry just wasn't all that interested in rekindling her past relationship with Kim, even if it would just be at the friendship level.

Kim had wanted to call Kerry the next day- hell, she had even thought about calling her back that night- but was courteous enough to give the woman some time; she was happily taken- Kim figured herself as just another thing of the past- and didn't seem all to keen on the idea of meeting up.

Finally, two and a half weeks after their initial catching-up session via telephone, Kim decided to ring Kerry again.

"Hello?" Kerry's voice told Kim that she was busy- the exact situation Kim had been hoping to avoid by intentionally calling her at home rather than work.

"Hey, Kerry, it's Kim."

"Oh, hi Kim,"

"Is this a bad time…? I can call back, or you can call me back?"

"Um, I am bit preoccupied, actually…well, I was, but at the moment I'm in the clear; Henry was eating lunch. We just had to go over the fact that throwing our food even after mommy tells us not to lands us in time-out," she explained, obviously adding loud emphasis on Henry's punishment so the toddler would hear her, "but now I'm just doing the dishes."

"The terrible twos?" Kim asked, a smiling spreading across her face as Kerry talked about her son.

"Mhm. Unfortunately, when they say terrible twos, they aren't being age specific: there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for this phase, even though he's been three for about a week."

"Ah, I've always wondered about that…you know; whether or not the terrible twos are only for two year olds…evidently, they aren't. Anyway, how are you?"

"I'm good. Happy to have the day off…I love the ER but I don't think I ever realized how much you need a break from it every once in a while…do you have the day off too?"

"Yep…I decided to take a break…that damned psych ward can get a little crazy…" Kim made lame attempt at a joke; an infamous move of hers. In return, Kerry snorted a laugh.

"Clever, Kim, clever…"

"That's me. Anyway, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet up for coffee or something; this afternoon? I'd love to meet Henry…" Kim left the window open for Henry to tag along, figuring that 1.) Kerry would want to spend her day of with her son, and 2.) Kerry wouldn't get the idea that it was going to be anything but casual.

Kerry didn't exactly jump to answer Kim's suggestion. Actually, she paused for a good minute or so, thinking about Kim's offer. Her first instinct, of course, was to reject it as if it were a date. Then, after really thinking about, Kerry figured it wasn't such a bad idea; _it's not like she thinks it's a date, I mean, she said she wants to meet Henry. _

"Sure, we'd love to meet up with you…how about the Starbucks on Lincoln?"

"Okay, sounds good. What time works for you guys?" Kim was excited, to say the least, not only to see Kerry, but to see her as a mother; _For God's sake, the last time I saw her she wasn't even an out lesbian and now she has a son with another woman!_

"How about…" Kerry checked the clock; 12:54 p.m., "two thirty? That'll give me enough time to at least try and get Henry down for a quick nap."

"Alright. I'll see you then."

"Yep, we'll see you later." Kerry put the phone back on the receiver and leaned against the counter. _Did I really just agree to meet up with Kim?_

Shaking it off, Kerry pushed off from the counter and went to retrieve her toddler from the designated 'Time-Out Corner.'

"Alright, buddy…what do you have to say?" She said, looking down to her son who was wearing a solemn look on his face.

"I'm sorry, mommy. I won't throw my food again."

"Alright. Thank you," Kerry held out her two arms to Henry and hoisted him up onto her hip, "how about we go take a nap and later we'll go out for a walk?"

Henry nodded in response, and the two went into his bedroom where Kerry laid him down on his small, twin bed. Handing him his favorite yellow blanket, Kerry placed a kiss on his forehead and left his room.

After Kerry finished the dishes, she sat down at the kitchen table where she was planning on finishing that week's journal. Instead, she found herself staring at the table of content while she thought about her meeting with Kim. She was nervous, yes, but Kerry was also pretty excited to see her. She, for one, had changed a hell of a lot in the past five years and she was sure Kim had, as well. It would be interesting, Kerry knew, but it would be good…she hoped.


	5. The 'First Date'

Though it was still February, the weather in Chicago had taken a pleasurable turn; it was 55 degrees and sunny outside, allowing Kerry to wear only jeans and a light jacket. It also permitted her to get away with not bundling Henry up- which he was very, very happy for- without getting disapproving looks from the many mothers she was sure to pass; it wasn't her fault that he inherited his mothers abnormally high body temperature and she couldn't keep him in a winter jacket to save her life.

With the young boy on her hip, Kerry walked down Lincoln towards Starbucks.

"Mommy, are we going to see Courtney?" Henry asked, the eagerness in his voice evident.

"Nope, Courtney's at work. We're going to go see an old friend of mine. Her name is Kim and she's very nice." Kerry checked her watch, which read two fifteen, and realized that they were going to be early for their date- for lack of better, more appropriate term.

Pushing open the doors to Starbucks, Kerry scanned the café for any sign of Kim just in case the woman's punctuality habits had changed. When she saw no one of even remote resemblance, she grabbed a table with four chairs near the door and set both her and Henry's coats down before joining the line.

"What would you like this afternoon?" The young cashier asked her, smiling at Henry who was still perched on Kerry's hip.

"He'll have a tall apple juice and I'll take a venti half-caf espresso, please."

Taking their seats again, Kerry and Henry waited for their drinks to be called out.

"…Henry; tall apple juice…Kerry; venti half-caf espresso…."

Kerry smiled at Henry's wildly excited expression as his name was called out with their order. Getting up before she even had a chance to move, Henry started to scamper over to the pick-up counter. Apparently not looking where he was going, he crashed right into a pair of legs that were walking through the entrance to the café.

"Whoa, buddy, you alright?" The lady asked, crouching down to the boy's eye level. Henry nodded, smiling shyly at the friendly stranger.

Kerry had seen her son collide with the stranger- a thin, tall woman with straight, blonde hair wearing a black coat and dark jeans- and was making her way over to apologize for him. Walking up to the woman, who was facing the other way, Kerry began,

"Sorry about that…he doesn't quite grasp the concept of watching where he's going when he-" Kerry stopped dead when the woman turned around, "Kim."

Kim, who was about to turn around and see if there was any parent or babysitter watching the toddler, stopped her search when she heard the voice who was apologizing,

"Kerry!" Kim's expression was one of pure surprise; she hadn't been expecting the young, Latino-looking boy to be the son of her fair skinned, red haired friend- _wait, why would he? It's not like she'd carried him. _Looking back down at the boy, Kim addressed him, "And you must be Henry?"

Henry, who nodded slightly, all of a sudden got hit with a strike of shyness and was soon holding onto Kerry's leg, shielding himself from Kim. Bending over slightly, Kerry practically pried him off her leg and hoisted him back onto her hip.

"Henry, can you say hi to Kim. This is my old friend I was telling you about." Kerry said, hoping his sudden shyness would be short-lived; otherwise, he would be clinging to her for the remainder of their visit with Kim. Turning his head from the crook of Kerry's neck, Henry gave Kim the once-over before re-nestling his head in its previous position. "Sorry…he can be pretty shy sometimes. It's either he's off the wall, or totally closed off. Right, Henry?" The young boy nodded. Kerry began moving towards the pick-up counter as Kim began to talk,

"That's alright. I don't think I'd be too fond of someone who nearly trampled me, either."

Grabbing her coffee with her free, left hand, Kerry realized she wasn't going to be able to- safely- carry both with Henry still on her hip. Before she had a chance to set Henry down, Kim stepped in and grabbed Henry's apple juice.

"Thank you...can you say thank you to Kim, Henry?" Again, Henry shook his head 'no.'

Back at their table, Kim set down Henry's drink before removing her own jacket and setting down on the back of an open chair. Setting down her own coffee, Kerry took Henry off her hip and set him down in his chair before sitting down in her own.

"I'm going to go grab something to eat and drink…" Kim said, turning to walk back towards the growing line.

As Kim walked away, Kerry turned to her purse and withdrew a coloring book and a small box of crayons for Henry. From the line, Kim looked back to the table, where she saw Kerry leaning over her son, pointing to something in the book. Henry began to giggle, and Kerry placed a kiss on his head. Kim looked over Kerry- her hair had grown several inches and had been restyled; it was now a long bob and was parted to the side with slightly swept bangs; though she was the same height, Kerry wasn't as unhealthily skinny as she had been; her style, too, had changed drastically; she dressed casually, now, in dark jeans, a light pink button down with a white camisole underneath- and all in all, she looked gorgeous.

After receiving her salad and coffee, Kim returned to the table and sat down opposite of Henry, who was now preoccupied with his coloring book, and Kerry, who was sitting comfortably, sipping her coffee, looking at Kim with interested eyes.

Covering her full mouth with her hand, Kim addressed Kerry's odd look,

"What are you looking at?"

"You…apparently, you haven't lost your appetite." Kerry smiled. It was apparent to her, now that she was with her third partner, that she had some sort of odd attraction to women with big appetites; Kim, Sandy and Courtney all loved to eat just as much as she loved to cook.

Kim nodded with a closed-mouth smile, deciding it was probably best to keep her mouth shut until she swallowed. Once she did swallow, Kim addressed Kerry's 'new' look,

"You look great, Kerry…I love your hair like that; it's a nice cut." Sensing the perfect opportunity to broach the subject of Kim's stick straight hair, Kerry spoke up,

"Speaking of hair…where'd the curls go?"

"Ah…you noticed," _of course she noticed, it's Kerry,_ "they're still there, just straightened out at the moment. You know…this wind just doesn't do much to keep them tame." Kim joked.

"Makes sense to me. Well, it looks good…I like it."

The two went on for about a half an hour, making comfortable conversation that revolved around the who's, what's, when's, where's and why's of County General and Kim's new job at Northwestern.

"Oh! And you'll never guess who's on staff at Northwestern!" Kim exclaimed.

"….who? And please, don't say Malucci…I hate the thought of him actually treating patients in the state of Illinois!" Kerry said.

"No, definitely not Malucci; actually, Peter Benton is a surgical attending."

"That's fantastic. Are he and Cleo still together, do you know?" Kerry hadn't talked to her colleague since a year or two after his departure when they'd ran into each other in the supermarket. At the  
time, he'd been working at a small, private hospital and was still with Cleo.

"Yep, I actually saw them just the other day. They got married last summer, I think it was. She's working in a private practice outside of the city."

"That's great…you know, lately, it's been difficult to find some of my old colleagues who actually left County on good terms! I think Peter and Cleo may be two of the very few who did…" Kerry half-joked, thinking of Mark, Lucy and Romano, who hadn't had much of a choice on how they'd depart from County, as well as Elizabeth, Jing-Mei, Doug and even Kim who left under less than pleasant circumstances.

"…Yeah, that's for sure." Kim's smile turned down a bit; something struck her, "Hey, Kerry…why haven't you left County? I mean, how long have you been there now? Ten years? Haven't you got sick of it yet?" Kerry smirked at Kim's question. It was one that she herself had thought about many, many, many times in the past but only recently found the answer to.

"Going on twelve years, actually…You know, I've thought about that a lot over the past few years. I guess County's been the only real stable thing in my life for as long as I've worked there; it's been the one thing that I knew I had to turn to. After Sandy died and I was fighting for Henry's custody, it was the one thing that I knew I still had. Sure, the place has given me a fair share of problems over the past dozen years, but I love it; I don't think I could picture myself anywhere else." Taking a sip of her coffee, Kim nodded at Kerry's response.

Looking at her watch, Kerry was taken aback by the time it read.

"Oh wow. It's already three thirty…I'm sorry, Kim, but I think we've got to get going…we still need to stop at the supermarket and grab something for dinner…"

Kim, too, checked the time on her Blackberry and nodded in agreement,

"Yeah, I've got to get going as well." She said as she stood and put her coat on. Kerry stood as well, stowed Henry's coloring book back away in her purse and put both their coats back on.

Kerry walked towards the trashcan and discarded their now empty cups and walked out the door with Kim on her tail. Once outside, Kerry turned around to face Kim, but, before she had a chance to begin their goodbyes, Kim spoke up,

"You know…it's great to see you like that." She gestured to Kerry's body, talking about her unaided walk and ability to carry her son on her hip, which would have been far from possible five years ago. Kerry, at first, was oblivious as to what Kim was talking about. After glancing down at herself, it hit her.

"Oh. Yeah, well, it feels even greater than it looks, believe me." She smiled.

"Well, it was really fantastic to see you, Kerry. And it was nice to meet you, Henry…" Kim said, smiling at the young boy who seemed to be coming a little further out of his shell. "I was thinking maybe we could meet up again?"

Kerry, who had been anxious before meeting up with Kim, was now at total and complete ease. She was as comfortable with Kim as she had been when they were together, if not more.

"Sure, that'd be nice…just give me a call sometime, okay?" Kim smiled at Kerry's calmness.

"Alright…I'll do that. It was really nice to talk with you," Kim said, placing a hand on Kerry's shoulder, "bye, Henry." She removed her hand, and waved at the little boy, who let a little smile spread across his face and allowed his own hand to wave goodbye.

"Bye, Kim…" Kerry turned, and headed south down Lincoln. As she walked, Kerry began to find it hard to fathom that she'd just had coffee with someone whom she didn't think she'd ever talk to, nevertheless see, again. Smiling slightly, she went on to the supermarket, rather excited for she and Kim's next meeting.

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Please, Review :)


	6. The Belated Dinner

A/N: I'll appologize in advance for any weirdness (for lack of better word) Kerry and Courtney's relationship is...romantically. Lol. I wanted to add some romance for some dimension, but, I have a feeling it might come off as awkward. So, sorry if it's weird or awkward or just doesn't sound realistic, but I'm blaming my lack of...romantic experience? Lol. Thanks :)

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"So, wanna remind me where the hell you learned to cook like that?" Courtney asked Kerry over their belated dinner.

"I'm flattered," Kerry smirked, "but for God's sake, it's only fettuccini alfredo." She laughed at the woman's exclamation. Taking a sip of her wine, Kerry pushed her plate out a few inches in front of her and leaned back in her chair.

"Well, I don't care how easy it was to make; it was fantastic, Kerry…and thank you, you know, for waiting for me; it's nice to have something…well, someone," she corrected herself, "to look forward to." Courtney, who'd gotten to Kerry's house around nine o'clock, had been pleasantly surprised when Kerry had called her earlier that evening asking her to stop by later that night. However, she supposed it shouldn't have come as such a surprise, seeing as in the recent months- since they began working together- she and Kerry had gotten pretty close, spending a couple nights a week and most weekends together.

"It's my pleasure, Courtney, you know that. Besides, no matter how enlightening conversation with Henry is, it doesn't quite have the same level of stimulation as it does with you...or any adult, for that matter." Kerry joked, taking both her and Courtney's plates to the sink to wash. Getting up from her chair as well, Courtney walked up behind Kerry,

"Ah…so that's what I am…a vessel for adult conversation." She whispered into the crook of Kerry's neck, wrapping her arms around the petite figure. Putting the plate she was rinsing back in the sink, Kerry turned around into Courtney's embrace and brushed her limps against the woman's.

"Mhm," she sighed into Courtney's collar bone, "you're my portal into the adult world."

"Glad to be of service…" Courtney teased Kerry back, taking the woman's hand and pulling her into the living room, "so, tell me about your date with Kim." Courtney put emphasis on the word 'date', and then smiled, making sure Kerry knew she was only kidding. Smiling back, Kerry answered,

"It was interesting: Henry wasn't too fond of her, but it was nice to catch up…" Kerry sat down on the couch, Courtney landing right next to her.

"That's good…are you guys going to meet up again?" Courtney's voice, as always, didn't have a bit of jealousy or roughness in it; she was only curious.

"That's the plan…" Kerry wanted to keep it vague; though she knew Courtney wasn't the jealous or presumptuous type, she didn't want to give her reason to think that she wanted anything more than friendship from Kim.

"That's good…" Courtney, though she wasn't going to act on it, desperately wanted more answers. She knew it was completely normal for friends to meet up with old friends, but she wasn't sure if the circumstances were the same for Kerry; Kim was her first lover- that she knew- and though Kerry had found love afterward- in the form of Sandy, Courtney knew how captivating reuniting with an old lover could be, and, as selfish as it may be, she just didn't want Kerry to be taken away from her.

They spent the next few hours of the night on the couch, sipping red wine and watching Thursday night television, until the clock hit 12 and Conan came on. Courtney wasn't sure if Kerry was sleeping or not, as neither had said a word since Kerry had hastily called 'bull' on a scene from Grey's Anatomy- Courtney's favorite show.

Before speaking up about the time, Courtney thought twice about it; they were at the point in their relationship where they hadn't quite 'U-Hauled' but they were far from taking seperate cars when they went out to eat. Figuring she might as well leave up to Kerry, she went ahead and offered, "I should probably get going…" Courtney whispered, stirring from her comfortable position on the couch: stretched out with Kerry leaning into her.

Kerry, who'd actually been in and out of a light sleep, flinched at Courtney's movement. Reassessing the situation, Kerry noted that Conan was on meaning it was already midnight; Kerry realized she'd fallen asleep, quite basically, on Courtney. _Not the first time…_ she thought to herself, grinning slightly, as she thought of the previous weekend they'd spent, blissfully, together. Finally becoming totally aware, Courtney's words registered,

"No…it's late…why don't you just stay here tonight?" Kerry offered, shifting off of Courtney into an upright position; with their schedules both being on the hectic side they rarely had more than two or three opportunities during the week to see each other outside of the station- and Kerry was up for anything that would allow them more time together, even if that might only include sleeping.

"…Sure, that sounds…good." Courtney smiled, standing up and stretching her lanky limbs. Kerry, too, stood and gathered their glasses. Placing them in the sink, she made a mental note to be sure to wash the dishes leftover from their dinner when she woke up. Turning off the T.V., Courtney waited for Kerry and together, they went into Kerry's bedroom.

Grabbing her own pajamas, a pair of shorts and a tee shirt that she'd left there the previous weekend, Courtney retreated to the bathroom,

"I'm going to go wash up…" she called, leaving the bedroom.

Kerry nodded silently in response, her back turned from Courtney as she stood at her vanity, taking off her few pieces of jewelry and combing through her hair. Going back over to her dresser, Kerry withdrew her own pajamas- flannel pants and a loose, grey tee shirt- and swiftly exchanged her day clothes for her pajamas. By the time she was changed, Courtney ambled back into Kerry's bedroom,

"Your turn…" she smiled, setting her folded clothes on Kerry's dresser.

No more than ten minutes later, Kerry reappeared from the bathroom, now donning her plastic, rectangular glasses; though Courtney loved Kerry's eyes, she thought she looked damned cute in her glasses, as well.

After turning off the overhead light, Kerry walked over to her side of the bed and slid in next to Courtney, who was looking at her with tempted eyes.

"What are you looking at...?" Kerry addressed the sly look on her girlfriends face, turning on her side to face her completely.

"You; you look so…cute." Courtney said softly, inching closer to Kerry.

Stroking Courtney's face, sweeping her tight curls out of her eyes, Kerry leaned in closer and placed a light, gentle kiss on her lover's lips. Returning the favor, Courtney added pressure to Kerry's lips before retreating, realizing that if she went much further, their twelve fifteen bedtime would soon turn to, well, later.

Partially thankful that Courtney seemed to have been thinking the same thing, Kerry turned onto her side to take off her glasses. Looking back to Courtney- who was watching her every movement- Kerry leaned back into her for one more kiss, before turning off the bedside lamp.

Once the room had been darkened and the two said their final goodnights, Courtney and Kerry quickly fell into a deep sleep, free of dreams.

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Review, even if you hate it; I want to hear people's opinions! :)

Thanks for reading.


	7. The Nightmare: I

A/N: Okay! So, this is Part 1 of 2 for Chapter 7! I wanted a bit of a cliffhanger, so I'll start writing part 2 then post that sometime soon! And as for editing goes, I know posting without totally proofing isn't the greatest idea, but this is the only chance I'll have for a while to post and I really wanted to get this up...so please, excuse any mistakes :)

**PART 1 of 2**

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"It sounds like you've had quite the…handful, at Northwestern. I thought that maybe only the truly crazy people came to County, but I guess I was wrong…" Kerry said in between laughs as Kim told her all about the more interesting of the cases she'd recently seen.

"Oh goodness no; you should have seen the cases I had in San Fran…half the time I was covering the ER, I was in fear for my life!" Kim laughed then took a sip of her wine.

"Well, that's nothing new for any teaching hospital's ER…hell, I don't think we go a day without having either a doctor or a patient go completely off the wall." Kerry smile turned down a bit, thinking of last year's issue with Clemente as well as the recent problem with Luka's seasonal cold-turned-stroke patient, Mr. Ames.

"Ah, so, I shouldn't say that I've missed covering the ER at County?" Kim teased.

"Not at all." Kerry's smile returned.

It had been about a week after Kerry and Kim had coffee at Starbucks when Kerry decided to give Kim a call, inviting her over for dinner. Kim gladly accepted, excited to meet with Kerry again. The general plan in Kerry's head was to have Kim over for a later dinner; partly because of her six to six shift that day, and partly because she figured it might be a bit more relaxed if Henry was asleep. Her plan had been a success for the first hour or so, as Henry had been tucked in around eight and Kim had arrived at quarter past. Kerry had prepared chicken cordon bleu, and after they ate, the two talked over a glass of a red wine.

"So, you said doctors going off the wall? Who would that be…?" Kim asked, telling from Kerry's expression that there was a juicy story behind the comment.

"Well, I guess it was...twelve months…no…" Kerry seemed to be counting back the months in her head, "no, it was about eleven months ago. Right, because I hadn't had my hip done yet. Right. Anyway, it all started about a month after Susan Lewis, who was chief of the ER, left…"

Kerry went on to tell Kim the story of Victor Clemente; about his situation at Newark, his not-so-warm welcoming, and everything else, including his unlucky relationship with Jodie.

"And so, I was covering for him that day- down in the ER- but had to take it easy. So, I went up to my office and worked on some paperwork for a while. Then, a couple hours later, I went down just to make sure everything was going smoothly. I ended up finding Jodie, Victor's girlfriend, being worked on in Trauma 1. She had a couple GSWs. Then I went into Trauma 2 where Clemente was. He was high as a kite with a bullet in his arm. He ended up having a conniption, nearly pushing me and one of the residents to the ground, and having to have hard restraints- which we no longer use. Everyone thought he'd done it- because of his history -but it turned out he was innocent. Jodie ended up being o.k., but Clemente went mad after that. Literally. He was admitted into the psych ward about a month and a half later."

The look on Kim's face once Kerry had finished that part of the story could be summed up in one phrase: shocked and slightly amused.

"Oh my gosh…so, what's happened to him since?" Kim-the-psychiatrist took over, her compassion- however slight it may be- making her wonder what the poor man was doing now.

"I'm not so sure…I guess he's gone back to New Jersey. After he left, we got a lot of heat for it. That's how I ended up back in the ER…because I hired him in the first place, despite his record." Kerry added, her voice sounding a tiny bit bitter. Pushing up from her seat, Kerry turned to the counter to start doing dishes as Kim responded.

"Wow…quite the hell raiser that Clemente was, huh?" Kim smiled innocently to Kerry's back. Kerry, assuming Kim was watching her, nodded in response. In the silence Kim heard light, padded footsteps coming from down the hall. Turning, she saw a tired-looking, pajama-cladded Henry walking towards them, rubbing his eyes. Kerry, who was still at the sink, obviously hadn't noticed. "Um…Kerry? I think someone's coming to see you…"

Kerry turned and, at first, gave Kim a suspicious look. Then, when she looked to where Kim's vision was directed, she understood. Setting the knife she held in her hand down on the counter, Kerry addressed her son's emergence,

"Sweetie…what are you doing out of bed?" The young boy removed his hands from where they were rubbing his eyes to reveal the redness of them. He'd been crying. Taking a couple more steps towards her, Henry opened up his arms, looking for comfort. Kerry swiftly scooped him up, before readdressing his sadness, "Buddy, what's wrong?"

Henry snuggled his head into Kerry's neck, hiccupped, then shook his head. It was apparent to Kerry that he wasn't going to answer. Kerry sat down in the pulled-out chair then took another stab at what was bothering him,

"Did you have another bad dream?" At that, Henry nodded his head. Seeming to understand, Kerry only hugged him tighter. Stroking his hair, Kerry turned back to Kim, who was looking on with concerned, curious eyes.

"He's been waking up with nightmares for a couple weeks now…" She answered Kim's silent question. Nodding, Kim-the-physiatrist desperately wanted more information.

"Has he been able to tell you what they're about?" Kerry nodded.

"That's the weird thing…he says they are about his momma. You know, Sandy." In that, Kim was interested, though she didn't exactly understand why Kerry considered it 'weird.'

"Ah…but why is that so odd, Kerry?"

"Because there's no way he remembers her…he was only three months old when…" Kerry let her words trail off, assuming Kim got the gist of what she was saying.

Kim, who understood what Kerry was saying, nodded. It was common knowledge that children typically didn't have specific memories from when they were only infants, but it was also common knowledge that children could create false memories by being told stories and seeing pictures of the subject. In this case, Kim was guessing that both Kerry and Sandy's family had often talked about Sandy, therefore, Henry felt as if he remembered her. But why he was having nightmares about her, she had no idea.

"Right…but they could be made up memories. You know, he acquires bits and pieces of information about her from you and her family via stories and pictures then he feels like he remembers her? But I don't know why that'd upset him…" Kim repeated her thoughts aloud.

Kerry heard what Kim was saying, but she wasn't exactly into hearing the psychiatric side to what was upsetting her son; all she wanted to do was calm him down and get him back to bed. Instead of replying to Kim, she returned her attention to Henry, whose hiccup-y cries were subsiding.

"It's okay sweetie…" she held him out so she could see his face, "do you want to go back to bed?" Henry looked at his mother then sheepishly shook his head, looking as if he was going to start to cry again. Kerry took his expression in then held him back against her chest, "Alright, you can stay out here with us for a little bit…"

Looking to Kim, Kerry smiled apologetically,

"Sorry, about this…he just needs to get some sleep tonight, and if I put him to bed against his will, he probably won't." Kim nodded. Though she hadn't experienced the ups and downs of motherhood, she definitely understood them.

"Its fine, Kerry…" Kim smiled, "shall we reside to the living room?" She asked, grabbing both she and Kerry's wine glasses.

In the living room the three sat on the couch: Kim sitting next to Kerry who had Henry curled up on her lap. Grabbing the stereo remote, Kerry turned on the background music and a soft version of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' came on, bringing an entertained smirk to Kim's face.

"What? Little Einstein's is his favorite." Kerry replied to Kim's expression, smiling as well.

The two talked as softly as possible as Henry fell back asleep.

"You never mentioned if you're seeing anyone?" Kerry asked as she and Kim talked about Kim's time in the 'Paris of the West.'

"…I was for a while…a nice woman I met at GLBT group meeting...we were together for about five months when one night I called her house. This man picked up. He asked who I was, and I told him: 'Kim Legaspi, Lauren's girlfriend…who are you?'….he told me he was Lauren's fiancé…we cut it off after that…" Kim said in a tone Kerry knew very well; Kim found it funny, not upsetting, that she'd been involved with a closeted, married woman for five months.

"Uh…wow...that's, um, interesting." Kerry found the situation bewildering, "Anyone since?" Kim shook her head,

"Nope…that was a year before I left. Since I've been here, I've been too busy getting back into the Chicago way." At that, Kerry nodded in understanding.

They continued talking for about thirty more minutes, until Kerry began to notice Henry's even, deep breathing.

"I'm going to go tuck him back in…I'll be right back." Kerry stood with Henry in her arms and walked towards the toddler's bedroom. Taking the chance, Kim stood and walked over to the fireplace's mantel, which held Kerry's collection of photos. Looking through them, Kim noted the multiple pictures of Henry, ranging from infancy to what must've been the most recent Christmas. Continuing to look, Kim saw a few photos of staff from the ER; Abby, Luka and who must be their son smiled cheerfully in one of the candid shots. Moving forward, a picture struck her; it was of Kerry, Abby –who was in blue scrubs-, and a small Latina woman holding a newborn in what Kim assumed to be the NICU. All three women were smiling radiantly, sheer happiness strewn across their faces.

"He kept us up all hours of the night when he was in there," Kerry said from behind, causing Kim to jump a bit at the sudden noise. Ignoring her reaction, Kerry went on, continuing to move towards the mantel, "he had chorio, which wasn't much compared to most babies in there, but nevertheless, Sandy and I spent three times as much time there as I already I was, pre-baby."

"She's…she was beautiful, Kerry. I see where Henry gets his looks." Kim grinned, still looking through the maze of frames. In the multiple pictures, Kim didn't see any unfamiliar faces; _where was the current girlfriend?_

"Yeah…she was." Kerry said, her voice quiet and somber; Kim instantly regretted her choice of words. Looking over to Kerry, who was still looking at the photos, Kim noticed the smallest tear escape down her face. Kim extended her hand and gently brushed it away. Before removing it, Kim found her fingers grasping Kerry's chin and pulling her face towards her own; exactly why she was doing that, Kim wasn't sure. Before she had a chance to apologetically pull away, Kerry moved towards her, accepting the contact. Moving her face so it was parallel to Kim's, Kerry pressed her lips against hers. Initially surprised by the woman's movement, Kim flinched a bit, then accepted Kerry's mouth and added pressure. Moving the hand that held Kerry's chin to the back of her head, Kim moved closer and closer until their bodies locked together, lips never parting. All four hands now intertwined in each other's hair, the pair experienced the unique passion that neither had had for the five years since their split-up.

Blindly moving backwards, Kim led Kerry towards the couch and sat her down without losing contact. Allowing her hands to travel, Kim felt her own, long fingers undoing the buttons of Kerry's blouse and slipping it off the woman's strong arms, revealing a lacy, black camisole.

Kerry felt Kim undoing her shirt, and too let her fingers claw at the light, cotton shirt on Kim's back, willing it to come off. Finally getting a good grasp, Kerry pulled it over Kim's head, leaving her in only her pink bra.

The two woman, now nearly naked on top, continued to affectionately love each other on Kerry's couch.

"I've…missed you, Kerry." Kim said breathlessly in between kisses she was planting on the woman's neck. Kerry, who was giving attention to Kim's cheek, stopped short when she heard that woman's words; what exactly they were doing, hit her: _I'm cheating on Courtney…with Kim._


	8. The Nightmare: II

**CHAPTER 7:** **PART 2 of 2**

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Kim, who'd been relentlessly kissing Kerry, was struck odd when Kerry stopped kissing her as well. She was even more taken aback when she gasped. Had she hurt her? Thoughts of when they had been together swarmed Kim's mind; she'd never actually hurt Kerry when they'd been making love or anything like that- at least not in a way that Kerry had let her feel accountable for- but she did realize that certain things weren't exactly the most comfortable for the woman. _But didn't she have her hip replaced? And, I mean, we are only making out…_ Kim thought, now utterly confused as to what had upset her friend.

"Kerry…what is it? Did I hurt you?" She asked, slowly catching her breath.

Kerry shook her head. No, Kim hadn't hurt her. Quite the contrary: Kim had made her feel good; Kim had made her feel better than she'd felt since she'd been with Sandy; Kim had made her feel, well, guilty. No, that wasn't fair; Kerry had made herself feel guilty.

"No…no, Kim, you're…this is…its perfect…" Kerry was fighting for the right words, "It's just…Courtney."

Kim went numb. The fact that Kerry was involved with someone had quickly fled Kim's mind when their lips first touched. She was the 'other woman.' Quickly backing off, Kim sat back on the couch and ran her lanky fingers through her thick waves. Kerry, too, leaned back, the expression on her face clearly distraught.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Kerry. I really shouldn't have…" _Shouldn't have what? Shouldn't have kissed you? Shouldn't have put you in that position…I can't take all the blame._ Kim figured she'd let Kerry finish the sentence.

"No, Kim. I should've known better, but I….I, want you." _'I want you'?_ _That sounds great…'Yep, Kim, I've never stopped loving you…so now, I think I want to drop Courtney like a hot potato to be with you: the first woman who broke my heart.' That just doesn't sound right. _Kerry was deep in thought, entirely confused as to what she did and didn't want.

Kim felt the corners of her mouth twitch upwards when Kerry said she wanted her. _I want you too, Kerry._

"You're involved with another woman, I know…" Kim had gone through it before; woman's with another woman, meets Kim, makes Kim the other woman, then goes back to the original woman. It really was a twisted and warped version of boy meets girl- one that Kim had, unfortunately, had to learn to accept.

Kerry shook her head hastily. That wasn't what she was getting at,

"No, Kim…I…I want you. But…"

Kim nodded all-knowingly.

"…But I'm the other woman."

Kerry, too, nodded slowly. Yeah, Kim was the other woman, but, if Kerry could have her cake and eat it too, she would be able to be with one of them without leaving the other in the dust and without leaving a hole in her own heart. However, seeing as life- Kerry's life, anyway- never seemed to work out that way, she knew she'd have to make a decision; a decision that was win-win for no one; a decision that had immense potential, potential that could be disastrous.

Kerry, who was deep in thought, hadn't noticed that Kim had put her cotton shirt back on until she handed Kerry her own, which had evidently been tossed on the ground.

"I should get going…" Kim said softly. Pulling her up from the couch, Kim again took Kerry's slight face in her hands and drew it softly so it was only a few, short inches away and completely parallel to her own. Looking into the deep green eyes in front of her, Kim drew in a breath then spoke again, "but, when you figure out…what you want, you'll know where to find me…" Placing her lips on Kerry's, she slowly inhaled the other's breath- not quite a kiss, but still passionate for the moment- before slowly pulling away. Giving Kerry's eyes one last look, Kim turned and walked slowly out of the living room, grabbed her denim jacket from the coat rack, and quietly left Kerry's home.

Walking down the hall of the condominium complex, Kim's mind whirled with the thoughts of what had just happened; she'd just given Kerry an ultimatum of sorts: '_When you figure out what you want, you'll know where to find me…' _She began to regret her words then figured she wasn't the only one in the position to be remorsefull.

From the time Kim left, a steady stream of hot tears had been silently streaming down Kerry's porcelain cheeks. Why she was crying, she wasn't sure. Well, she knew why she was upset, but why it had pushed her to tears, Kerry had no clue; she cried only on occasion: death and birth of family and friends, and fear, with the occasional frustration pushing her over the edge as well. But, overall, crying wasn't quite her mantra. This time, her tear-shed was a product of both fear and frustration; fear of so many things; fear that she'd make the wrong decision, fear that she'd hurt one of the women she loved in process, and fear that she'd unsettle she and Henry's life more than it had to be. Her frustration was purely with the situation she was in; had Kim not gotten a hold of her and had Kerry not learned she was back in Chicago, this would never have happened; she would never be faced with choice between two women; her first lover and her current lover.

Kim nimbly let herself into her town house, shed her coat and shoes next to the door, and headed straight for her bathroom. Pulling on the handle of the shower, she allowed the hot water steam up the bathroom as she slowly undressed. It felt like déjà vu; an odd sort of feeling to have after five years, but supposedly that was the point. Stepping under the hot spray, she accepted the hot water face on. Contemplating what had happened, her mind clearing as the heat washed her mental numbness away, Kim came to the conclusion that half of her heart wanted her phone to ring within the next few days, Kerry's voice on the other end telling her that she wanted her and only her, and that the other half didn't want to be the other woman; the one who causes a break in a relationship; the one who was stuck waiting until the other was ready. For her, the former half of her heart outweight the latter; she loved Kerry and had never stopped loving her since the day they'd ended it.

Shaking the thoughts away, Kerry slipped on her shirt and returned to the sink to finish the dishes she had left when the unfortunate nightmare began; the initial action that brought on her uncharacteristic move of cheating on her girlfriend. Scrubbing away slowly, she ran through a mental pros and cons list; Kim vs. Courtney; self-centeredness vs. morality; what she wanted vs. what already had. When she'd reached the last dish, at around quarter of eleven, Kerry had reached a decision as well. Moving to her bedroom, Kerry slowly disrobed and fell, emotionally exhausted, into bed. She was planning to sleep on her decision, before acting on it in the morning.

Donning silk pajamas, Kim tucked herself into her oversized, overstuffed bed and shut her eyes, praying for three things, and three things only: for the ability to sleep that night, for Kerry to find the strength to make the right decision- whatever that may be, and for forgiveness for involving herself in this deep, complicated, two-sided love triangle.

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Thanks for reading! Please, Review; Good? Bad? You like it? Dislike it? I WANT TO KNOW :)

A/N: Again with the editing: I promise I will look over both pt.1 and pt.2 this weekend, but ATM, I only have time to post! Thanks for overlooking what I'm sure is multiple errors (spelling, grammatical)


	9. The Explanation

A/N: I'm well aware that three year olds, generally, aren't that perceptive to other's emotions. And yes, I know, Henry sounds much more like a wise five or six year old. But, he's just so darn cute :)

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**One Month after 'Nightmares'**

Kerry Weaver walked through the main hall of the ER, headed towards the admit desk, removing her white lab coat. Swinging around the desk, she pulled her purse from the cubby it was occupying and put her coat in its place.

"I'm out of here..." Kerry said to the few surrounding staff members- Frank, Sam, Dawn, and Ray- as she headed for the door.

"I'll walk out with you…" Luka, who was heading out as well, added.

"See you tomorrow, Dr. Weaver?" Ray added, looking to Kerry.

Turning around as she walked, Kerry answered with a smile,

"Nope…I've got the day off…see you all on Friday night." Ray responded with a quick nod.

"Doing anything exciting on your day of freedom?" Luka asked as they headed out the doors to chairs.

"Yep…spending it with Henry..." She said, smiling. Though she hadn't had much time off when she was Chief of Staff, there was definitely more of a strain for her to see Henry when she was working  
twelve hour days.

Walking out of the double doors connecting chairs to the ambulance bay, Kerry spotted who she was meeting up with right away.

"Mommy!" Henry broke his hand loose from his uncle's grip and scuttled towards Kerry, arms wide open.

"Hey sweetie," She bent over, subconsciously remembering to brace herself; Henry's running-hugs could be very, very powerful. He covered the short few yards between them then Henry threw himself into his mother's arms. Hoisting him up, Kerry greeted him again,

"Hi, bud," she planted a kiss on his soft hair, "were you good for Uncle Eddie?"

The young boy nodded, before waving to Luka.

"Hi…" Henry craned his neck around, seemingly looking for something, "is baby Joe here?"

Luka smiled at the toddler, before shaking his head,

"Nope…he's at home with Abby…" Henry's wonder subsided at Luka's explanation, "who is probably about ready for a break. I'll see you later, Kerry. Have a good day, tomorrow." Luka said, patting Kerry on the shoulder and nodding quickly to Eduardo as he passed.

"Have a good night, Luka." Kerry smiled at her colleague before redirecting her attention towards her son and his uncle, "So, Henry, you were good for Uncle Eddie?"

"He was fantastic, as always," Eddie answered for his nephew as the three walked out of the bay, "Did Luka say you have the day off tomorrow? Do you still need Theresa and I to watch him, or…"

"I do. And no, but thanks; I think we're going to go to the zoo. Right, Henry?" Kerry looked to Henry, who nodded.

"We are gonna' see giraffes and zebras and monkeys!" he exclaimed to his uncle. Eduardo nodded,

"Ah…well, have fun. See you guys later…bye, mijo." Eddie took a right while Kerry and Henry veered left, heading for the El.

**

* * *

**

Kerry and Henry climbed to the El platform, enjoying the still-oddly-warm-for-early-April weather. Taking a seat on the train, Henry turned towards his mother.

"Is Courtney coming to see the animals?" He looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

Kerry winced at the mention of Courtney's name. Four weeks prior- after she and Kim had had a brief run-in of the romantic sort- Kerry had been faced with a very, very difficult decision; between Courtney and Kim. In the end, though, she had ended it with Courtney in favor for Kim. However, the two remained friendly; Courtney had really only wanted for Kerry to be happy, which, at first, only made Kerry feel worse, but was slowly settling in her mind.

"No…Courtney isn't coming..." Kerry realized Courtney's absence would soon connect in her son's head, but didn't want to broach it. Henry nodded slowly before asking another question,

"Kim?" Kerry had to do a double-take when her son said her lover's name. Henry, who'd only met Kim twice, hadn't taken a particular liking to the woman from what Kerry could tell. Making sure she'd interpreted her son's words correctly, she questioned his phrase,

"…You want Kim to come to the zoo…with us?" Henry nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, Kim's nice." Those words made Kerry's mouth twitch into a slight smile. She and Kim hadn't quite 'made it official',- though, from what she could remember, she'd only twice made any relationship official; in other words: it wasn't much of a frequent thing- however, they had met up a few times over the past couple weeks, never doing any more than they had that fateful night.

"Well…I could give her a call, if you want?" Again, Henry nodded.

**

* * *

**

After Kerry and Henry had ridden to their stop, then walked home, Kerry set Henry up at the breakfast bar in the kitchen with a coloring book and crayons, before retreating to the counter to start dinner. As she waited for the water she had placed on the stovetop to boil, Kerry leaned over Henry and peered at what he was coloring; a picture of Curious George in which George was red, while The Man in the Yellow Hat was, fittingly, colored bright yellow. Without looking up from his creation, Henry addressed his mother,

"Call Kim?" His two words made Kerry smile again; _he was serious. _

Placing a kiss on his head, Kerry turned back to the counter and picked up the phone,

"I sure will…" dialing the digits that were posted on the fridge, Kerry leaned back against the counter, and listened to the ringing.

**

* * *

**

Kim had just walked in the door after her shift- an eight hour in which she'd evaled and admitted more than her fair share of patients- when the phone rang. Dumping her briefcase on the near couch, she covered the space between the living room and the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She hadn't checked caller idea, and upon answering, wish she had; _I am NOT covering for you tonight, Lee…find someone else._

"Hi, Kim…" her sourness washed away when she heard the voice on the other line.

"Oh, Kerry! Thank goodness…I thought it may be someone asking for me to cover for them tonight…" Kim said, moving back into the living room.

"Ah, nope. Sorry to disappoint you," Kerry teased, "but, I do have another proposition for you…"

"Do you?" Kim had, coincidentally, been planning to suggest she and Kerry get together soon and was just as glad that the other woman planning something herself.

"Well…Henry and I were wondering what you'd think of going to the zoo with us tomorrow?" Kim could hear the grin on Kerry's face through the phone.

"I think that sounds wonderful…and luckily, I have the day off…"

"Alright, Henry will be very excited…he's the one who suggested we invite you, actually." Kim smiled; she knew that little boy was something special.

"He's got good taste…" Kim joked, "So, should I meet you guys there, or…?"

"Sure, that sounds good….Lincoln Park Zoo….what time's good for you? I was thinking about 12?"

"That works for me. See you then," Kim's smile was growing, "Oh, and tell your little man I say 'hi', okay?"

"Of course…see you tomorrow, Kim, goodnight." Kerry replied, waited for the other woman to hang up then hung up as well. Looking to Henry, who was still coloring, she smiled and told him the news.

"Kim's coming with us tomorrow to see the animals...and she says hi." Henry snapped his head up, a smile spread broadly across his face.

**

* * *

**

"Mommy, do you like Kim?" Henry asked over his bowl of Mac 'N Cheese. Kerry, who too was eating dinner, looked at her son with curious eyes, her head slightly cocked to the side.

"Of course I do, she's an old friend." _Well, that's a tad bit of an understatement._

"Oh…" he returned to eating his dinner.

A few, short minutes later, he picked his head up again,

"Mommy, do you like Kim like Courtney?" Kerry's eyes grew even larger- not with curiosity, but shock; _I don't give this boy enough credit…_

"Um…well, Henry. Kim and I were friends- like Courtney and I were- a long time ago." She was desperately trying to make this as understandable as possible for her son because, even though he did seem to grasp what being a lesbian was and that his mother was one, no three year old could possibly understand the complexities of any relationship; _Hell, I don't even understand all the damned dimensions of these relationships…_

"And, when Kim left, I really missed her. Then, I met your momma, and I loved her a lot. Then momma left us to be with God, and for a while, it was only you and I…" she paused quickly, hoping her words were making at least a bit of sense, "then, I met Courtney and I liked her a lot. But when Kim came back, I realized that I loved her a lot more than I liked Courtney…" Kerry drew in a deep breath, figuring that her explanation had not only sounded like complete gibberish to her son, but sounded immensely immoral. Summing it up in one phrase, she went at it again,

"I love Kim a lot, Henry."

The look on her sons face was one Kerry couldn't quite place; his mouth busy chewing, his eyes smiling. Swallowing, Henry responded,

"I like Kim, too."

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! This has been really fun to write, and as of now, there's no end in sight :) On a different note, I was looking at past chapters, and I noticed a few mistakes when it came to information and happenings coinciding with each other...so please, if you notice them, ignore them. And again: Thank you for reading! :D


	10. The Day Off

**Day After "The Explanation"**

* * *

"Mommy, can we come back to the zoo?" Henry asked, staring out into the pouring rain from where he sat in his car seat. Kerry, Kim and Henry, who were spending the early-afternoon at the zoo that day, had been forced to rush back to their cars when black clouds turned up and the rain began to pour down in buckets.

Kerry glanced at her son in the rearview mirror as she pulled from the parking lot. Pulling in behind Kim in the slight line of cars waiting to get on the road, Kerry yielded and turned around to face him,

"Of course…and next time, it'll be warmer." She winked, knowing Henry would appreciate what she was saying; though the weather had been relatively warm for early spring the past few weeks, it had taken a bitter turn early that morning; not only had it dropped 15 degrees since the previous day, but any bit of humidity there'd been was gone- making the air raw- and the ice-cold rain certainly hadn't helped any of that.

Seeing as the dark clouds had started producing the rain within minutes of their arrival, Kerry, Henry and Kim had planned to meet back at Kim's place for lunch instead. Kerry, who had only been to Kim's new residence once, gladly followed the white car through the Chicago traffic until they were parked in the short driveway of the quaint townhouse.

-

The rain, though still coming down, had let up, allowing the three to make it from car to house without becoming drenched.

"It is so cold!" Kim shivered, shedding her rain shell and kicking off her clogs. Kerry, who was bent over Henry undoing his jacket, nodded,

"I don't know where this weather came from…it was beautiful yesterday!" She hadn't planned on spending her day off inside, hiding from the rain, but Kerry was damned happy that since she was cooped up inside, it was going to be with two very, very special people.

-

Soon enough, the three were seated at Kim's breakfast bar finishing up their grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup; Kim's self acclaimed specialty, though Kerry knew it was one of the few things Kim could produce in the kitchen without a disastrous result.

"Mommy…what are we gonna' do now?"

Kerry looked to Henry, then to Kim, then back to Henry. Just as she hadn't planned on spending her day off inside, Kerry hadn't planned on having to find a back-up plan for her son; she hadn't brought anything for him to do, figuring the zoo would have kept him occupied enough. _Score negative one for Kerry._

Kim intervened before Kerry had a chance to answer Henry.

"Henry, have you ever seen 'Finding Nemo'?" The childish excitement in Kim's voice drew a large smile across Kerry's face. Henry, who'd never heard of Finding Nemo as far as Kerry knew, shook his head. "Well! I think we may just have to fix that…" Kim slid off her stool, picked Henry up from his own seat and placed him on her hip. Walking off towards the living room, Kim turned her head slightly and winked at Kerry.

-

"Kerry, how in the world can you have never show him Nemo?" Kim asked, joining Kerry back in the kitchen.

"…Kim, why in the world you own Finding Nemo?" Kerry retorted, the teasing tone in her voice evident. She knew Kim was a child at heart; however she honestly had no idea why the thirty seven year old woman owned the Pixar film.

"Because…" she smiled, "it's a good movie." Kim grabbed Kerry's hand and pulled her into the living room, where they found Henry curled up- nearly swallowed up, actually- by the large recliner, watching the movie intently. Kim sat down on the white couch and pulled Kerry beside her.

-

A near hour and half later, Henry was asleep in his chair as the credits began to roll. Kerry, whose hand was in Kim's and whose head was on Kim's shoulder, turned into her and whispered,

"You were right: that was a good movie." Kim smiled victoriously.

"I know." She placed a kiss on Kerry's soft hair.

Picking her head up off of Kim's shoulder at the sign of affection, Kerry turned parallel to Kim and returned the favor, aiming for the blonde's lips instead. Feeling Kerry's mouth locked against her own, Kim withdrew her hand from Kerry's grasp and caressed the thin, red hair instead, pulling the small woman closer.

Kerry pulled back slowly, and leaned her forehead against Kim's,

"I love you, Kim…" She breathed out, almost inaudibly.

In turn, Kim removed her forehead from Kerry's and placed her lips there instead,

"I love you too." Those words couldn't be closer to the truth; Kim had never stopped loving Kerry. The day she'd left the Chicago- left Kerry- was, quite possibly, the darkest day of her life. It was all out selfishness, she'd realized weeks after she'd left Chicago; sure, she'd given Kerry plenty of time to realize what she wanted, who she was and who she was going to own up to being, however Kim had let it slip her mind just how confusing it must've been for the then-thirty-six year old to be, just then, realizing she wasn't who she'd thought she was for her entire life. So Kim, in all of her self-centeredness, had dropped Kerry like a hot potato. At first,- even before she'd left Chicago- she'd had the most loathing of attitudes towards the red-head, figuring that anyone who wasn't going to own up to being a lesbian and wouldn't 'accept the life-style' just wasn't worth her time. Then, when the weeks since her departure turned into months, her once-dear friend began making frequent appearances in her mind; it even got to the point where her heart would jump just at the sight of a head of red hair. When those thoughts and longings became more and more frequent, Kim realized her feelings for Kerry were stronger than she'd thought; she loved the woman, and had been horribly unfair to give up on her so soon. Kim had decided, in somewhat of a self-sacrificing way, to not communicate with Kerry; to not call, to not email, to not even write the woman, as to not disrupt her life more than she probably already had. So, in turn, the two remained out-of-contact for five years; until now.

"You know…" Kim began as Kerry rested her head back on her shoulder, "I never stopped loving you…I always thought about you. What you were doing, how you were, who you were with…" she paused, then smiled, "I would even go out of my way to avoid short, redheads…and luckily for me, I never crossed paths with a middle-aged woman using a forearm crutch…"

Kerry picked up her head, scowled playfully at Kim, then laughed,

"Yeah…that isn't the most common of things to see…" Kerry smiled, "I'm glad you only had to avoid two of the least common traits around. I, on the other hand, had one hell of a time avoiding tall blondes."

"So…you did it too?" Kim smiled, glad to hear she wasn't the only one who'd gone out of her way to spare herself from the memories.

"Mhm…except I couldn't quite manage to stay away from the curly hair…" she smiled remorsefully, thinking firstly of Sandy then of Courtney. It was the truth; she had a thing for the curly hair.

Kim smiled then pulled Kerry in closer to her. She placed a gentle kiss on her mouth- much like before- then whispered,

"Well…I don't think we'll have to worry about the avoidance ever again."

Kerry nodded. She had a feeling she'd never have to worry about the avoidance of Kim-like women again.

* * *

**A/N:** I just love Kim and Kerry...I think almost more than I do Sandy and Kerry...Haha. Anyway! Thank you for reading! I'm pondering what my next step will be; while I think this is a good place to end, I really want to continue with this storyline! So, I think I'm either going to do an epilogue in the next chapter or start a sequel...or maybe I'll just do both! Well, again, thank you for reading and reviewing! :)


	11. The Summer: Epilogue

**Epilogue**

A/N: Takes place the summer after the past few chapters. A short, rather inconclusive ending, I know, but I plan on furthering their relationship in one for or another in coming stories, so stay tuned if you've enjoyed this!

**

* * *

**

**JULY**

"What time are you on…?" Kim asked groggily, turning around to face the just-as-weary Kerry, after seeing it was nearly six thirty.

Grabbing her glasses off the nightstand next to the bed, Kerry replied,

"I have the morning off…you're going in for eleven?" Kim nodded, let out a wide yawn, and pulled herself into a sitting position, back against the headboard. Kerry, too, scooted into a sitting position, inadvertently allowing the crisp white sheets to fall, revealing both of their nude chests. Pulling Kerry into her side, Kim allowed her mind to replay the night before: the bliss, the warmth, the adoration. She smiled.

"I should go get Henry up…" Kerry murmered apologetically after a while, shifting out of Kim's embrace. Kim, who had been dozing off, shook her head,

"…Just a few more minutes?" Kim whispered, keeping her grasp on Kerry tight. Kerry cocked her head to side then nodded,

"Fine…a few more minutes…" she gave in, and slipped back into Kim's arms.

*****

"You know, Kim, you might as well just bring more of your things over. I have no problem lending you PJs and sweats…but I have a feeling neither my pants nor shirts will fit you if the situation should arise that you need to go out looking presentable in clothes you didn't come here in." Kerry noted as Kim emerged from her bedroom, dressed in a pair of Nike shorts and an old t-shirt, all of which belonged to Kerry.

"...Good plan…though, I do enjoy walking around your house in shorts that are one size too small…" Kim teased, signaling with her hands to her legs, which were greatly exposed due to the lack of length. She continued to walk closer to the counter, where Kerry was making breakfast "You know, I would never have expected to find a pair of running shorts in your dresser…"

"Hm?" Kim pulled her shorts off her left thigh in response to Kerry's questioning sound, "Oh…yeah, physical therapy will do some crazy things to a person." Kerry grinned at Kim then flipped over the pancakes she was tending to on the stovetop.

"Ah…well, that explains last night." Kim said with a straight face, deriving a shocked look from Kerry who swung her head around to face the blonde.

"Excuse me?" She choked out, waving the spatula she held in her hand towards Kim. Kim laughed,

"You heard me! Man…either you've become a master over these past five years, or-" Kerry cut her off.

"Okay, okay, okay! I get it! Since when did breakfast become so explicit?" She failed at trying to hide her amusement and a smile began to tug at her mouth as she turned back to the stove.

"Since I started spending the night," Kim answered Kerry's question bluntly, before continuing to tease her, "but you know, that scar is absolutely se-" the 'xy' sound of Kim's words got cut-off by Kerry's forced cough that was paired with a flash of eyes towards Henry, who was walking in from the living room.

"Mommy, are the pancakes ready?" Henry looked up at her, obviously clueless to the fact that the two women had been conversing.

"Mhm…" Kerry responded, placing two on a small, blue plate. Setting it down on the table, she hoisted Henry up into his booster seat and draped a big around his neck; _Henry plus syrup equals a royal mess._ Kim grabbed two plates and placed two pancakes on each and brought them to the table. She handed one to Kerry and kept one for herself. Sitting down, the three ate their blueberry pancakes.

"It is, you know." Kerry wore a confused look.

"What's what?" Kim smiled devilishly then took a sip of her coffee.

"Your scar…" Kerry playfully glared at her again; Kim, she knew, wasn't talking about the small scar on her neck; no, she was talking of the still-pink, ten inch scar running down her right hip- one that would have made Sandy damn proud.

"Mm, stunning, I know;" Kerry winked, changing pace and playing along, "You're on at eleven, you said?" Kim nodded,

"Yep, but I've got to run home and shower first…" Kerry shook her head in disapproval,

"Kim, why don't you just bring some things over? I mean, you're here nearly every night anyway; it'll save you these trips in the morning before your shifts." Kim smiled slyly.

"Kerry…you wouldn't happen to be suggesting we U-Haul, would you?" Kerry gave her a skeptical smile,

"Well, I don't think I'd consider it 'U-Hauling'; it's not like this is the first time we've been together…besides, it's been a few months…but, I suppose I'm suggesting you…well, yeah, that you move some of your stuff…or all of it, in." Kim nodded victoriously,

"Sounds like a plan to me." She smiled back, settling Kerry's mind.

**AUGUST**

"Kim! Kim! Mommy, do you see? Kim's here!" Henry stood at the bay-window, staring out onto the driveway where Kim was stepping out of her white car, carrying yet another box armful of boxes. Each day after work, Kim would make a stop at her for-sale townhouse and pick up a few thinks, making her move into Kerry and Henry's gradual.

"Yes, Henry…I see that." Kerry loved her son more than anything in the world, but his excitement for Kim's arrival home was nearly outweighing her own. _Its better he's loving her than despising her._

Henry walked to the door and gave the bronze knob a tug. He heaved at the door twice more until Kerry came up behind him to help out; just in time, as Kim stepped through the open door, hands full.

"Hey there…" Kim brushed her lips across Kerry's- their generic greeting.

"Any more boxes in the car…?" Kim shook her head,

"No….just these ones…I only have a few left at the house anyway," Kim set them down on the counter then turned to Henry.

"Hey buddy! How did you and mommy enjoy your day?" Kim questioned Henry then glanced at Kerry who smiled.

"We went to the park…then we got food. Mommy says she's making you a special dinner!" Henry looked to Kim then to his mother, smiling proudly. Kim raised her eyebrow questioningly at Kerry,

"Is that so? I thought we were ordering out tonight…" Kerry smirked,

"What Henry forgot to mention was that it was a secret…" Kerry was looking at Henry, who continued to smile, then turned to Kim, "I thought I'd make you dinner. You know, I've been on nights lately and you've been staying with Henry…we haven't seen much of each other…this is the first night we've had in a while…I just wanted to do something-" Kim finished for her,

"Special." Kerry nodded in agreement,

"Special."

* * *

**A/N:** Again, thanks so much to those of you who've read this! It's was a really fun story to write :)


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